


how could you not?

by Amlovelies



Series: Chargestep Prompt Pieces [7]
Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: F/F, POV Second Person, accidental confessions, light spice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:54:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amlovelies/pseuds/Amlovelies
Summary: written for a prompt request on tumblr
Relationships: Julia Ortega/Sidestep
Series: Chargestep Prompt Pieces [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133453
Kudos: 8





	how could you not?

**Author's Note:**

> written for a prompt request on tumblr

You could get used this, but you shouldn’t. Another long afternoon spent with Ortega. A picnic in the park, her idea of course.

A bottle of wine and laughter. It stains her lips and you can’t tear your eyes away from the sight, and she knows it. Oh, she always seems to know the effect she has on you.

The rest of your lunch forgotten as her lips brush yours, brazen as could be. You know you should protest, should pull away, but you can’t.

Let the Farm come. You’re ready for them now. Retribution is ready for them now.

She knows the rules by now. Her hands stay on top of the clothing. It doesn’t matter that her ports are disconnected, you are electrified all the same.

It doesn’t take long before she is pulling you by the hand leading you to the cab, leading you down the hall, shutting out the world as she closes her apartment door.

You press her back against the door, paying her back for the teasing in the cab, the way her hand kept moving up your thigh, the whisper of her breath on your neck, the promises she made.

You no longer stumble in the dark of her bedroom. You know the steps by memory now, just like she knows the landscape of your body by touch. 

You know you shouldn’t be here again. This needs to be the last time. You said that last time too.

It’s not just the movement of your bodies together in the dark, not just the way her hands draw shuddering reactions from your over-wrought nerves, not just the way her mouth blazes a trail over your skin. Oh, that is addictive, yes, but its more. It’s the moments after. The happy hum in her chest as she holds you. These are the moments that damn you most. These are the moments which will make her hate you all the more when the truth comes to light. And it eventually will.

But for now, you have these moments. Ortega tells another bad joke, and you groan, but can’t help laughing, “remind me, why do I love you again?”

As soon as the words are out of your mouth you realize your mistake. You can say it’s because you’re drunk, either on the wine or the feel of Ortega’s hands. You can tell her it’s just an expression, not a confession, but you don’t want to.

“I mean have you seen my legs, how could you not?” she’s trying to keep her voice light, teasing, but you can hear the tension in it. When she kisses you it feels desperate, her lips pressed against yours as if trying to tattoo their shape against yours. You can taste salt on her lips and when you cup her face with your hands you can feel the wetness of tears.

If she touched your face, she would feel the same.

It’s a cruelty, and she’ll hate you all the more for this, but it’s true. How could you not? It’s hard to remember a time when you didn’t love Ortega, not that you would admit it to yourself, didn’t love her impulsive bravado and her booming laugh. She deserves so much better than your love. She deserves more than an accidental confession, but it’s the best you have to offer her. And she accepts it. The same way she accepts you. Of course, you love her. How could you not?

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @amlovelies  
> thank you for reading 💕


End file.
